On Turning Fifty

This is not a writing post. This is a you’re not getting any younger so do the thing you’ve always said you wanted to do post. A find joy in the small moments post. A reminder to just be and be happy post.

I hesitated to call out my (new) age in the title of this post. It sounds so… real. It’s a big number. To be perfectly frank, I’d way rather be turning forty. And the strange thing about that is I’ve never been someone who’s shy about her age. When I turned thirty a whole bunch of people said things like, “Ooh, are you sad?” And I responded in turn, “No, should I be?” Turning forty was sobering because, let me tell you if you haven’t gotten there yet, everything does in fact start to hurt. It’s super annoying. But I also think forty was when I really figured out who I am and what I want from my life and started taking concrete steps towards achieving those things. Forty was when I started to accept me for me.

So here at fifty, I’m not sad, I’m not freaked out. I’m very clear on who I am and what matters to me. I have amazing friends. I have a good life. I have a family who loves me. Have I gotten everything I’ve wanted? Of course not. But the nice thing about being a person of a certain age is you’re (hopefully) mature enough to recognize what’s within your control and what isn’t, and smart enough to know to put your energy into the former and ignore the rest. Fifty is a good place to be. But still. It’s a big number.

I’m not someone who needs other people to make a big deal about my birthday. It is very important to me that I acknowledge it. I’m someone who believes that how you spend your birthday says something about how you will spend the year that is to come. So, today, in acknowledgement of this big birthday, I will spend time with my family. I will get some exercise. Do some writing. Do some reflection on the year that passed and set some intentions for what is to come. I will focus less on the number, and focus more on the person I have become, and be proud of that person, with all her flaws and faults and missteps along the way. I will recognize that in some way I have achieved all the things I’ve set out to do, so far.

And I will recognize that I’m just getting started. It’s just a number, after all, and how lucky am I that I get to claim it? So, here’s to the next fifty. There are so many amazing, life-changing, good things to come. I can't wait.