Look for the Helpers

Here in North Carolina, lots of folks have been using this famous Mister Rogers quote this week: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”

As you hopefully know, our state got absolutely hammered by Hurricane Helene last week, bringing devastation to western communities including Asheville, Chimney Rock, Lake Lure, and so many more. Hundreds of thousands still don’t have power. Most don’t have water and it’s unclear when it will return. Cell service is spotty, at best, making it difficult to locate so many missing people. Not to mention the ruined homes, businesses, roads, landmarks, and lives. People are talking about recovery in terms of months. It will take years.

As terrible as it has been, people have shown up. Shown up with donations. Shown up ready to work. People who no longer have a home of their own, or a job, are putting in hours to serve their community. People are going house to house with buckets to help others flush their toilets. And on and on. In our worst of times, so much of the best of us show up. The helpers show up.

I’m reminded at this time of another Mister Rogers quote that I love: “In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.”

We want to help, because we want to be helpers. Because, in some way, it makes us feel better. At its best, it connects us to the very human experience of others. At its worst, this ends up being performative altruism. The truth of the matter is that you can donate, show up to help, and support your neighbors without telling anyone. You don’t need to post it on social media. You can just help.

Now that some of the dust has cleared and what needs to be done is coming into sharper focus, it’s time for all of us to spend a bit more time asking questions and truly listening. What does someone with no power and no water need to eat? What do people who are cleaning out a lifetime of memories from under mud need? What does a community that will soon be facing thirty-degree temps need? What will they need six weeks from now and six months from now when the rest of the world has moved on?

It’s hard days right now and hard to know what to do, sometimes, in the midst of this turbulent and angry world. Look for the helpers. Be the helpers. And then let’s take the time to ask some questions, be present, and listen. Let’s listen with our ears and listen with our whole hearts.