On (Not Looking For) Limitations

In the December 2023/January 2024 issue of Vanity Fair, a feature on the director Greta Gerwig (she of Barbie fame, among others) ends with this quote:

“I have enough faith in my skill level that I’m able to say, ‘This is what I need to do this kind of film, and I am the one to do it.’ Though limitations are also extremely helpful. But the nice thing about limitations is they always find you. You don’t have to go looking for them.”

There is, of course, something about a woman who just created one of the most successful movies of all time owning her skills and making clear her needs, especially to those of us who haven’t quite reached that level of success. But there is so much wisdom for each of us to take from those four sentences. No matter what you’re working on, no matter how “successful” you think you are, own your skills. Ask for what you need. And stop looking for limitations. They will, without question, find you. Whether you go looking for them or not.

Creative endeavors are fraught with feelings of being a fraud, an impostor, or just not up to the task. There’s so much critical feedback and rejection that ends up feeling incredibly personal. It feels like it’s not just your work that is being critiqued, but it’s you, as a person. You know the point is to share your creation with the world. But it definitely takes a certain amount of hubris to do such a thing. Who am I to say, “This is good work, and you should see it as such?” I’m certainly not Greta Gerwig, that much I do know.

No matter what your work is, you likely are surrounded by people, structures, and systems that are intent on limiting you. Sometimes it can feel like roadblocks are put up just to see if you can find a way around or over them. We are not a society that does well with lifting one another up. The systems and structures don’t like it when people, especially women and people from marginalized groups, own their abilities and their strengths. It feels uncomfortable. Unseemly. And so, we make ourselves smaller. We diminish ourselves. We put limitations on ourselves. Before the structure or the system even has a chance.

The limitations will find you. You don’t need to go looking for them. Your job is to do the work, to get better, to learn, and to grow. To seek out help when you need it. To lift others up and recognize talent and skill and strengths in others. To build a community of people who make you better.

In my day job I have been told on numerous occasions that I don’t matter. I have literally been told that I have no value. I have been told that I’m not up to the task, over and over again. And  I’ve never felt as unsure of myself than when allowing someone to read my creative writing pieces. Giving someone something that feels more like art, feels like giving someone something that feels more like heart. The praise feels unearned. The rejection feels devastating. And yet, I carry on. I refuse to put limitations on myself when there are so many out there waiting to find me.

Right before the quote at the start of this post, Gerwig notes, “At some point, the terror of never making anything becomes much bigger than the terror of making something bad.” For me, it feels less like terror and more like letting myself down. Putting limitations on myself. And so, I remind myself: You are the one to do it. Don’t let anyone, or anything tell you otherwise.